When Toby is faced with learning to ride his bike so he can play with his friends, he begins to worry and worry and worry.
"What if I fall?" "What if other kids laugh at me?" "What if I can't ride my bike?!"
Mommy pauses, attuning to his behavior. She accepts his emotions and calmly engages with him, encouraging his discovery of positive steps to solve this dilemma.
Toby learns a better way to manage his feelings by using his can do thoughts. Now, he can have fun!
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**My thoughts**
I can vividly remember feeling the same was as Toby when I was a child. All of the other children had learned to ride their bikes well before I did because I didn't have a good place to learn how to ride. I was afraid of what they would think of me and would try to find ways to avoid riding. I like the description of how Toby gets all tangled and tense with his anxiety. I think children will be able to relate to that.
There has been a push lately to teach children positive affirmations and a "can do" attitude, which is what they try so hard to do with Toby learning how to ride his bike. Children reading this are going to have the chance to review this concept and try to apply it to their own life in whatever is worrying them.
Just as important as helping children remember their "can do" attitude is how this book teaches parents and caregivers a productive way to work with children who are feeling a lot of anxiety. You'll notice that Toby's parents acknowledge how he is feeling. Instead of telling him to not worry, they instead focus on what TO DO to lessen his anxiety. You wouldn't think that makes a big difference, but it truly does. You'll also notice that his mom scaffolds him to riding independently. This means she breaks down the task of riding his bike long distances into several smaller steps that he can more easily manage and lets him master those smaller ones before moving on to the next one. This is also really important when helping children work through anxiety and mastering new skills.
And finally, at the end, the author provides more information for parents who are dealing with challenging behavior in their child via the PAUSE Approach.
This one would work in the classroom to read as a group, but would be more beneficial in a one-on-one setting, I think. Read it over and over again while helping a child work through whatever the difficult situation is.
I received a requested copy of this book from the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
About the author:
Lucinda Taylor Grapenthin, PhD, is a Licensed Psychologist in private practice and Assistant Professor at Brenau University, also serving as Clinic Director for the Brenau Center for Counseling and Psychological Services and Director of the Brenau University Play Therapy Training Institute. Dr. Grapenthin has over 20 years’ experience working with children and families as the founder of the Family and Child Development Center. She also presents at academic conferences and professional institutions on topics related to mental health disorders, such as trauma and attachment, as well as play therapy and parenting.
Dr. Cindy lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband, Richard, and golden retriever, Currier. Their adult children, Alex, Kristi, and Trevor, float in and out of their home, adding delightful chaos.
